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What ! Never been to
a District Conference Before.
(First-Timers Highlights of the Rotary
1240 District Conference 2004)
It is doubtful that ever, in the history of Rotary, has an ex milk bottle
been afforded the opportunity of 'commenting in print' on the Rotary District
Conference. However, being a product of that most excellent institution
'Ingatestone Dairy' and a 'Conference First -Timer' the Dairy's higher
management have tasked me with just such an activity.
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The Venue
The Mecca for this years District Conference 2004 was the monolithic Moat House
deep in the heart of Shakespearian country. The aptly named Moat House with its
many rooms, fine ballroom, ascetically landscaped gardens and bordered on one
side by the meandering river Avon is of strategic importance. Its claim to fame
lies, not so much in its wonderful conference facilities, but in its close
proximity to the town centre of Stratford-Upon-Avon where first timers like our
selves can partake of a rousing night at the 17th Century 'Garrick Inn' or
within a few minutes walk spend a 'groat' or two in one of the many
Shakespearean memorabilia shopee's that characterize the town centre.
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Conference Day 1 - Friday
8th October
Eighteen Ingatestone delegates started this annual pilgrimage, from various
locations, using differing transport types and in varying group sizes. Each
group's advanced communication systems (mobile phones) ensured that continuous
contact was maintained throughout the journey and that all could find the same
'watering hole' to partake of sustenance before continuing the last few miles
of the journey to Stratford-Upon-Avon. On arrival at the Moat House Hotel
our party went through the usual 'Booking in rituals', which given the sheer
volume of Rotary attendees, was reasonably quick and efficient. Vicky and I
quickly discovered a new game played by the hotel on 'First timers'. The hotel
takes two similar names in our case 'Allen'. It then leaves a small but subtle
clue that the room may not have been correctly allocated. The participants
contact the hotel desk, and a hotel representative calls to advise you of a
room change. After moving all cases and bags to the 'correct room' the
participants find that this room is already inhabited by members of the Rotary
brotherhood. The final phase of the game comes when a 'Hotel Manageress' jumps
out at you while you are wandering aimlessly in the passageway and says that
"you have been great participants in the game" but could you return
now to your original room and just to show you how well you have both
performed, the hotel would like to present you with a bottle of Champagne for
your trouble. Vicky called it our 'Brucie Bonus'
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For 'first timers' the 'Fancy Dress Night is a most memorable
experience which had started with the pre-dinner drinks in the presidents
'suite' where the wine flowed and the crisps crunched and eighteen milk bottles
complete with silver tops neatly and expertly allocated themselves into their
respective milk crates. |
| The preparation of the white costumes and silver tops by the
'diary maids' had been arduous and the training for the milk bottles to reach
competition standard had required 'iron discipline'. |
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The theme of this year's fancy dress was 'school
days' and the Ingatestone Dairy produce mixed well with the multitude of school
girls and boys, headmasters and headmistresses. Conversations were soon struck
with some very amiable school dinner staff, dressed in 'pretty aprons' and
straw boaters. The heat of competition was soon upon us and we took our place
in the line up to be paraded before the judges. The months of preparation and
rigid training was finally rewarded as 'Ingatestone Dairy' was awarded their
place in history as winners of the competition. |
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| The evening, of dinner, disco and dancing will remain as a fond
memory forever. Two large round tables (remember King Arthur only had one)
adjacent to each other accommodated the victorious Ingatestone pilgrims very
close to the dance floor. Organisational skills were quite in evidence, and
supply lines to and from the bar were quickly and seamlessly established by the
President and the Secretary. |
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The food was excellent and well served but the quality of the
dinner paled into insignificance when compared to the spirit of the evening
engendered by the attendees from the various Rotary clubs. The raw energy
expended by all the participants during the night's disco dancing could have
powered a small nuclear submarine. |
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| The evening, of dinner, disco and dancing will remain as a fond
memory forever. Two large round tables (remember King Arthur only had one)
adjacent to each other accommodated the victorious Ingatestone pilgrims very
close to the dance floor. Organisational skills were quite in evidence, and
supply lines to and from the bar were quickly and seamlessly established by the
President and the Secretary. |
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The food was excellent and well served but the
quality of the dinner paled into insignificance when compared to the spirit of
the evening engendered by the attendees from the various Rotary clubs. The raw
energy expended by all the participants during the night's disco dancing could
have powered a small nuclear submarine.
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| Conference Day 2
- Saturday 9th OctoberDespite the rigours of the previous night,
breakfast was well attended in the spacious breakfast room. The buzz of
conversation wafted throughout the room, adding the bass to the staccato click
of knives against plates. Plans for the day were being hatched and the groups -
like pieces of driftwood - gradually floated away. Some to explore the town,
others to attend the many speeches and talks. A few to go further 'a field' to
experience the delights of near-by Warwick and its magnificent Castle. |
| We - as first timers - had been easily persuaded by the Secretary that the
afternoon boat trip on the Avon would add just the right flavour of 'adventure'
to the weekend. We patiently waited at the hotel's wooden jetty and entered on
board along with our six Ingatestone companions. Spirits were high. Almost as
high as the zips on people's jackets to keep out the wind that blew through the
square holes where the boat's windows should have been. |
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Vicky, thought that the Secretary - resting commandingly on his
long wooden crutch looked 'handsome' in his pointed pirates hat and black eye
patch. It was the way that he 'Whacked' the parrot perched on his shoulder that
she thought was a bit much. Admittedly, constant references to 'Jim lad' was a
little disconcerting. As the boat moved along, past the bird sanctuary,
avoiding smaller craft in its path, we all commented on the many houses whose
gardens sloped - sometimes at alarming angles - down to the river's edge where
small boats could be seen moored at a jetties or floated precariously inside
small tumbled down boathouses. |
As a watery sun flickered through
the trees, we passed a companion boat on the starboard side. "Ram
them" and "loot and plunder" came the cry from the ladies. This
was not - I thought - in keeping with the best traditions of WRINGS. With all
cameras clicked or digitised out, and a strong 'Sow Westerly' blowing from the
'Port Side' our little craft headed homeward to return to our 'Admiral Benbow'
for our 'motley crew' to celebrate a well earned 'shore leave' in the hotel's
coffee lounge.
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The main event in the Conference's social calendar is the formal Dinner
held in the hotel's main ballroom, complete with live music and 'cabaret'. This
is one function that all first-timers look forward to with great eagerness. It
was indeed a pleasure to see so many lovely ladies dressed in a variety of
'formalities' and accompanied by their elegant 'black suited cumber banded'
escorts. Dinner began with great gusto with all 'hangovers' from the previous
evening forgiven and forgotten. Spirits were remarkably high, even the quality
of the 'one liners' were much above average. The food and service seemed quite
good, though, the melon floated around in a red source, rather like a survivor
from the 'Somme'. The wine was palatable and the general atmosphere within the
Ballroom very congenial. When everyone had sufficiently wined and dined the
cabaret begun.The three entertainers achieved a good balance between topicality
and anything that might be construed as offensive. Joking, playing and singing
the entertainers gradually, and skilfully, drew in the audience who
participated enthusiastically. .Even our Presidents Lady 'Lovely Sally' engaged
in some humorous 'repartee' with the entertainers as she stood 'swaying' to the
music. Dancing to the live music occupied the remainder of the evening to the
delight of the participants who's energy levels, given the demands of the
previous evening, were indeed most impressive. For 'first timers' as ourselves
the evening had been both successful and wonderful.
Conference Day 3 - Sunday 10th October.
When any weekend has been so enjoyable, breakfast on 'last days' can be a
somewhat morbid affair However, as a first timer it was my intention to attend
the church service as a prelude to the final speeches. The service, was well
attended and I personally thought greatly uplifting.
Prior to the closing speeches, an exceptionally fine talk was given on 'the
Shakespearian history of Stratford-Upon Avon.' This well presented and
interesting talk - by the lady Curator - traced the history of Shakespearian
plays and their relevance to Stratford which included the contribution made by
the actor Garrick. The closing speeches by the District Governor and all those
associated with Rotary provides the first-timer with a remarkable insight into
the organisation that is Rotary. The sheer passion displayed by the delegates
for the Rotary cause was both enviable and admirable a passion that had been
matched by a tireless contribution of time and effort often over many years.
The votes of thanks given to those singled out and the enthusiastic applause
they received seemed such a small reward for their positive achievements and
unselfish labour on behalf of Rotary.
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Conclusion
The District Conference 2004, was a great tribute to its Rotary organisers.
The sheer logistics of so many attendees to be watered, fed and entertained
must have been a daunting enough task, but, most impressive was the planning
and execution of the various speeches, talks and gestures of thanks which
flowed seamlessly throughout the conference.
For First Timers this conference was indeed a memory maker, the fun, high
spirits, goodwill and uncontrolled laugher will - I hope - remain for ever. It
provided a valuable lesson too, the real meaning of fellowship. We are in no
doubt that the conference was made far more enjoyable by the mix and
personalities of our fellow Ingatestone milk bottles to which we are most
'Crateful'.
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crateful thanks for this report by Mike and Vicky Allen - members of
Ingatestone Rotary Club and its Inner Wheel respectively.
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